new story “The Skeksis” on Blunderbuss Mag

Oh yeah, you remember that dream I had… well It’s FINALLY an animated story

The Skeksis <– check it out on Blunderbuss Magazine

(You can read the original story along with silly fill-in skeksis memes here.)

I’m so pleased with the way this turned out, big thanks to Blunderbuss Magazine and my “wonder sister” Yvonne. Check out my cool glasses and gold chain, haha #thingsthataregold (I didn’t even tell her to draw me that way #swag)

Screen Shot 2014-06-26 at 11.25.01 PM

Here’s some of her stuff, which I have been a long time fan of obvi- click here to see her website.

you lost my debit card: an open letter to Lock & Key bar

I originally posted this on facebook and tagged Lock & Key, as of now there’s been no response

An open letter to Lock & Key bar on Vermont,

hey hi whats up…
So your bartender lost my debit card by giving it to another Martinez… it’s my unemployment card so it’ll take 2 weeks for me to get a new one… in the meantime I’m penniless so thanks for that.
Also, what kinda “upscale” bar hands cards back to the wrong people? I get that mistakes happen- but maybe part of your strive towards “upscale dinning” should include bartenders that are AT LEAST as good as the ones in the nearby dive bars. I expected a higher level of service after I was told I couldn’t bring my hoodie into the bar (I was wearing a nice dress btw) and that my friend couldn’t wear a shirt with the logo of the company she works for on it… really?
You share a wall with a Chevron and are located across from a Vons… it’s not that fancy- and maybe put “cocktail attire” on your website… just a thought.

Next – I have never met such a rude staff in my life. I obviously, have done nothing wrong in this situation yet they made me feel as if asking them to look for my debit card was the most ridiculous thing they’d ever heard. Not only was my bartender a BAD one (just givin Martinez debit cards away to any Martinez who’s asking…) but when I asked if we could possibly contact the girl who had my card he scoffed, cut me off and said “well there’s a lot of Martinez out there in the world you know.”

yeh I’m fucking aware, I didn’t mean get a phonebook you idiot

I meant call her credit card company and explain your mistake – but I was not given time to explain, instead I was shuffled off to another bartender who seemed nice.
After I waited patiently for 20mins they took my information I asked for a number of a manager and I was given a card. I asked, “will someone pick up?” and I was assured by this other bartender, “yes, someone live will pick up… the owner’s name is Cyrus” With no other choice, I walked back to the car, warmed by sheer anger and NOT my hoodie.

No one has called me from the bar yet so I called the number and, of course, it was a general information line that goes straight to voicemail – so in addition to loosing my property, you lied to me.

So now I’m flat broke, mad and feeling kinda helpless- what am I supposed to do? Go back to the bar and yell this time? Ask for a loan? A coupon?
All of those things are pointless… the only thing that would help now is a little thing we often forget, which is common courtesy.

An apology would be nice too- and not the snide obligatory ones I was getting last night. An apology that comes from a shared perspective of “hey, we caused you a lot of problems didn’t we?”

I guess this is turned into an even open-er letter, to people out there who say, “fuck it.”
To those who shurg and turn away when people trip or drop all their things or can’t get their wiFi to restart properly.

Yeah maybe I’m being dramatic, and YES this is a first world problem but isn’t there an issue here? When did it become so easy for us to ignore our sympathetic feelings towards one another? Where are the people turning and saying, “hey… you should have helped them” or “that’s not nice…”

No one had to lie to me, or dismiss me or be rude to me last night, but it was easier, so they did.

Well you know what’s easier for me? Easier than ignoring, easier than lying, and easier then yelling or pointing fingers… it’s easier for me to write, so here you go.



ps – Lock & Key, if you want to talk to me you have my information and I’d be more than happy to discuss this further.

SKEKSIS; or, They Wouldn’t Believe Me.

skeksis copy

So once I had a dream and forgot about it- then, an amazing friend of mine with an incredible memory told me a snippet; it sparked a fuse, and a dream redeveloped.

I have many many cinemascope sort of, larger than life, century long epic dreams. Most of them involve me trying to save the lives of a large to medium sized group of a mixture of my friends from different eras. The endings are always unknown, but there are different Act II templates. Act II templates include They Wouldn’t Believe Me, They’re Gonna Kill Us, We Gotta Get Outta Here, It’s Gonna Kill Us and the classic What is Trying to Kill Us?  I once saved a high school friend along side an old roommate and my sister in an epic fight against robots; we were at the bottom of a slide in an amusement park run by the undead… but that’s a different story.

Anyway- in this dream we insert the Act II template of They Wouldn’t Believe Me with light amounts of They’re Gonna Kill Us. This one took place in present day Los Angeles, more specifically Silver Lake where I lived in a lovely sunny apartment near the reservoir, and a bar called the Cha Cha Lounge.

From our apartment you could see the drunken bar flies zipping back and forth in front of our building. I was right there on the sidewalk that I saw the first murder in my dream. Now – don’t be worried about my mental health, because this was more of a comically frustrating dream. Think, Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day. So anyway, I see the murder right? But it’s kinda dark and hard to see, all I can make out is a giant bird-like creature rush up behind a bearded hipster dude, grab his neck and pull him down out of sight. You could see all this going on through the window of our dim living room scene. The room had an old television which had been converted into a fish tank; but the murky tank hadn’t had fish in years.

So, I see this guy get taken down outside and quickly inform my roomies, “woah, did anyone else see that?” a sea of all the faces of everyone I’ve ever lived with looked up at me from various books/laptop screens and give me a “huh?” look.

Nobody seemed to know what I was talking about so I shrugged it off and didn’t mention it to anyone again. Later I thought to myself “that bird-guy thing creeps me out, I’m gonna see what’s up…” and decide to google ‘missing persons in Los Angeles.’

There’s a part missing here in my memory but the next scene begins with me coming home to the apartment after work a few days later. There is a shared omniscient knowledge that people have been going missing throughout L.A. without anyone knowing why or how, yet I don’t remember how this knowledge manifested itself in my dream… facebook maybe? Also, I’ve been telling my roomies about it for days and no one believes me. Don’t forget, that by roomies I mean an endless cavalcade of roommates, friends and family from the past and present; “Intervention” style.

So I come home from work a few days later, walk in and everyone is sitting in my living room laughing and eating GIANT tacos with little tacos on top. Amongst them, with his own giant taco with lil tacos on top was a Skeksis.


If you aren’t familiar with the Skeksis or Jim Henson’s Dark Fantasy Sci-Fi piece, The Dark Crystal then you’re missing out- I won’t ruin it for you but the Skeksis are a race of gigantic vulture like bird kings who harshly and lavishly struggle to stay in power, while their robes turn to rags. They steal souls, sack villages, commit genocide… they are EVIL. They also worship this dark sort of crystal… hence the name.

Here’s another photo, it kinda looks like his headshot:


*My dramaturgy for this piece (I goggled “Skeksis,” -I love you internet/wikipedia) lead me to this fun fact, “Most of the philosophical undertones of the film were inspired from “Seth Material“. The Seth Material is a collection of metaphysical texts dictated by the American psychic Jane Roberts. Which Henson kept copies of in his office and had his production staff read.”


ANYway so I enter the apartment and everyone’s eating these oversized cartoon looking tacos with little tacos on top and my jaw drops to the floor as I recognize the murderer I had seen the other night. Little bits of taco spewed out of his mouth as he gargle/laughed along with all my friends.

“Who is this?” I awkwardly blurted out, still holding my purse in one hand, my laptop bag slung over my shoulder.

“Oh this is Skeksis – he’s our new roomie, hope you don’t mind! We said it was cool for him to move in.” everyone smiled and chewed.

“Well, no one asked me… but,” I felt myself trailing off as the Skeksis stared at me, his eye twinkling. I didn’t want to be the only one who said it wasn’t ok… but there was definitely something wrong with this guy; besides the fact that he was a 8 foot tall, pterodactyl with a mischievous look and torn victorian robes. I tried to pull one of my roommates aside to explain, but they wouldn’t listen, “No I SWEAR that’s the guy who’s been killing people!” I pointed to Skeksis as I whispered from the kitchen, looking at him looking at me.

“Skeks? Naw man, he’s new to LA.” the room laughs at a joke Skeksis has made and everything seems to be fine, my friends pats my arm and goes back to eating her giant taco with little tacos on top. After a beat ‘Skeks’ excuses himself, putting down his giant taco, and walks out the front door to the street where the hipsters will soon be going by. I can see him out the window, past the couch where my friends are stuffing themselves with Disney tacos. I sit and watch, thinking “maybe he’s alright…” but suddenly, I see Skeksis grab an innocent girl in high waisted polka dot shorts and drag her down out of sight.

“See! LOOK!” I said and sprang up, knocking into someone’s taco and sending lettuce everywhere, “did you guys see that?” I pointed right out the window past everyone’s head, but by the time their taco stuffed mouths turned to look, there was nothing there- in true slapsticky Abbott and Costello fashion.

“What?” my friend angrily wiped lettuce off her lap, “I don’t see shit Viv, why don’t you chill out yeh?” I stared out the window, blinking and hoping that the dark would somehow clear itself out to become the picture I wanted them to see. Everyone was looking at me like I was nuts ,so I decided to relax and put my stuff down in my room. By the time I came back out Skeksis was back, eating his giant taco with little tacos on top, as if nothing had happened. I half smiled and his grin greased up the side of his face as I walked by to go to the kitchen.

“Hey, so where’s my taco? Did you guys make me one?”

There was a super awkward silence, “Oh shit sorry dude, I guess we forgot and gave yours to Skeksis!” my friend shrugged and everyone continued eating, a little guiltily, but no one slowed down.

“Oh thats ok, no worries” I said, trying not to sound so hurt. Skeksis’ eyes burned into me. I was starving so I asked, “can I have one of the little tacos on someone’s big taco?” and that’s when everyone stopped eating to look at me; my roommate looked up and me, sneered and said, “how are we supposed to eat our giant tacos without the little ones on top?” I heard a round of, “yeah, c’mon,” “duh” and “seriously?” from around the room.

“I suppose you’re right- ha…” I trailed off as my roomies’ faces disappeared behind the tacos again. Skeksis stared at me through the eyes of an alligator and then went out the front door again.

I shuffled back to my room, hungry and heard a sound like, someone screaming.

If a Mayoral Race happens in Los Angeles and no one is around to vote on it, does it happen?

or “Wait… we’re voting on stuff?”


The primaries for our Mayoral race is tomorrow and I’ve barely heard a tweet about it. While searching online a week ago for any videos or information about who to vote for in this upcoming election I was baffled to find… none. ‘Cept this:

Click here to watch, maybe we can make the views go past 200!

This is the worst organization of any event I have ever seen – highlight of the video at 1:12 when the guys starts singing to fill time while Jan Perry puts her giant purse down… also the 12 year old moderator in his uncle’s suit.

Now, thankfully, there’s more stuff online, here’s a recent debate which took me over 20 minutes to find online… that’s like 50 years in “2000’s time.”

Lucky for me, I’m a registered voter* and I receive TONS of pamphlets and leaflets in my mailbox everyday; not only about the Mayoral candidates, but about the other candidates running for the various other offices. That plus some excessive google-ing has helped me to decide who to vote for this March, and I thought I’d share my choices:


there ya go, but If you’d like more info, PLEASE read on.


  • Mayor
  • City Attorney
  • Controller
  • LAUSD Board of Education
  • LA City Community College District Board of Trustees, Seats 2, 4 and 6


  • Mayor – duh, read a book. Our current Mayor is Antonio Villaraigosa
  • City Attorney – “an elected official whose job is to prosecute all of the misdemeanor criminal and civil offenses within the city of Los Angeles. In addition, the City Attorney litigates all civil actions on behalf of the City and represents the City, its boards and officers in all civil trials and legal proceedings in local, state, and federal court.” – Our current City Attorney is Carmen Trutanich
  • Controller – “is the taxpayers’ watchdog and the City’s chief auditor and accountant. The Controller’s job is to investigate and publicly report problems with city departments” – Our current Controller is Wendy Greuel
  • LAUSD Board of Education Member – “is the governing, policy-making body of the Los Angeles Unified School District. Members of the Board make decisions on matters relating to public education in the City of Los Angeles and several surrounding communities”  –
  • L.A. Community College District Board of Trustees – no idea… I’m assuming it’s like the LAUSD Board for Education, here’s the website, maybe you can find something
  • Prop A & B – I’ll get to these at the end…

WHO IS RUNNING? I’ll just go over the big ones… sorry but there’s just not enough time!

Mayor / All are democrats except for Kevin James, a Republican

  • Jan Perry – LA City Councilwoman
  • Emanuel Alberto Pleitez – Technology Company Executive
  • Eric Garcetti – LA City Councilman
  • Wendy J. Greuel – LA City Controller
  • Kevin James – Radio Broadcaster / Attorney

City Attorney

  • Carmen “Nuch” Trutanich – Current City Attorney
  • Noel Weiss – Attorney / Community Advocate
  • Mike Feuer – Assembly Member / Public Interest Attorney


  • Ankur Patel – Student labor Organizer
  • Ron Galperin – Efficiency Commissioner / Businessman
  • Dennis P. Zine – L.A. City Councilman
  • Analilia Joya Disability Advocate / Teacher

Now, let’s go over information I’ve found out, one section at a time. This is based according to my assessment of the videos and news I’ve digested:

Mayor / We’ve never had a female, openly gay man NOR a Jewish Mayor in LA.

  • Jan Perry – Jewish! I had no idea… / Currently not doing a great job in city council / does not advocate for the poor
  • Emanuel Alberto Pleitez – only true Latino running / 30 yrs old / hardcore grassroots campaigning / says Perry, Greuel and Garcetti “don’t deserve a promotion” / is literally running 20 miles a day, going door to door meeting people and shaking hands
  • Eric Garcetti – very educated and well traveled / plays up his Latino roots (he is either half or a quarter Mexican sources say) but is from a wealthy family who grew up in Encino / supported by Mayor Bloomberg’s super pac / is said to be indecisive / was president of LA’s city council for the last 6 years (as he let hollywood loose most of it’s work to other states…) / one of the highest paid member of any city council in USA
  • Wendy J. Greuel – worked with former Mayor Tom Bradley beginning in her 20’s / originally from the valley where she worked at her father’s small business / accused of “working for the DWP” because the unions have funded her campaign / has snubbed local papers’ requests for her public emails and documents although, it does take notoriously long to get anything in the gov.
  • Kevin James – Former radio broadcaster & Attorney / openly gay (yes, a gay Republican) / tolerant of cannabis laws / argues that, “city hall is broken, and they [Perry, Greuel and Garcetti] broke it” / inexperienced and a long shot, but a deff outsider to our corrupt system

City Attorney

  • Carmen “Nuch” Trutanich – lied about his term as city attorney and now he has to run for hi own office in order to keep his job haha / would rather go after Cannabis Dispensaries then dangerous criminals / refused to take a pay cut while his office has a higher salary than the mayor AND Attorneys across Los Angeles are being laid off
  • Noel Weiss – Attorney / Community Advocate
  • Mike Feuer – Assembly Member / Public Interest Attorney / started the city’s 311 program / endorsed by democrats, LA Times, Los Angeles and by Senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein


  • Ankur Patel – very unknown but has good ideas
  • Ron Galperin – the one to beat / endorsed by LA Times and former City Controller Laura Chick
  • Dennis P. Zine – part of a corrupt system
  • Analilia Joya another long shot

LAUSD Board Member District #2

  • Monica Garcia – hated by most LAUSD teachers / was endorsed by the LA Times yet even they say, “it’s only because there is no one else,” not because they think she’ll do a good job
  • Isabel Vazquez – the only option to vote for really

Plan A is not supported by ANY of the candidates for Mayor. It’s is a silly tax height which will only effect the lower and middle classes.

Plan B  is hella confusing…

So after some careful calculating and thinking, these are my endorsements:

Mayor – Wendy Greuel

City Attorney – Mike Feuer

Controller – Ron Galperin

LAUSD Board Member District #2 – Isabel Vazquez

Member of the Board of Trustees, Seat No. 2 – Mike Eng

Member of the Board of Trustees, Seat No. 4 – Ernest Henry Moreno

Member of the Board of Trustees, Seat No. 6 – David Vela

NO on both PLAN A and B

Unfortunately as much as I’d like to vote for a less corrupt Mayor, I believe that Kevin James will just suck votes from Wendy Greuel and Garcetti. My vote, sadly is a realistic one. But if I had to vote otherwise, I think I’d pick Kevin James.

So, there you go. Now go vote!

It’s no big secret that the Los Angeles government is in a bit of shambles, failing educational systems, vigilante police officers, city council conspiracies, high unemployment and low high school graduation rates etc. It’s dismal but have we as Angelinos completely given up? No one believes that a government can be changed by its people anymore. If this is true then, sadly, our democratic system will fail soon; not because it doesn’t work, but because no one is looking at.

Angelinos and Angelinas, you should care about your city and care about yourselves….

*Lucky for you, YOU also have the right to vote.

DUM DUM ZIssue Release party!


I produced this show via Summer Fun Time Society!

Issue 3 Exhibit. Bands. Beer. Readings. Community.Readings from the 3rd Issue by Dummies: D.S. Chun, Liska Jacobs, Taleen Kalenderian, Jessica Garrison, and Michael Stock.R O A M I N G R E A D I N G SLIVE PUNK SETS FROM:
Michael Stock (Part Time Punks), Mahssa (Dublab)
D.M. Collins & Daniel Clodfelter (L.A. Record)

BANDS: Ladyheat, Withers, Luna is Honey, LA Font, Spaceships, & a special performance by DUM DUM’s resident band: TULIPS

More details to follow!

So excited for the show! You can read my article on the website here

FROM THE VAULT #2: Will there be mud in the future?

I like reflecting on things I wrote in the past. And the conclusion is… I think I AM too hard on myself…

It’s also nice to see that I am right on track with “the plan” and I am no longer working as a phone slave at that “fluorescent nightmare.”

Well, an entry seems appropriate right now… because I’m pretty upset… not like crying upset… like… futile upset. Like, no matter what I do it won’t work… life wont work and all I’ll do is sit at home all awkward in a yellow camping chair writing about a fucking yellow camping chair… that’s all I got…. Really that’s IT. If genius comes from misery then I should be belting tight four part harmonies while painting Dali’s lost masterpiece right now. But no. I’m listening to Bollywood funk, avoiding a much needed shower, wanting to rot away into this damn yellow camping chair. At least I’m writing… big fuckin deal… I just beat myself up in these… I mean… due to the eh… what’s the word… oh yeah proof and data collected from previous entries such as, lemme see… I believe the exact words were “just stop it you fucking loser” or bitch… I dunno. I guess I’m a little mean to myself… if I’m not nice to me, who the fuck is going to be.


Ra ra shish boom bah


Rhyming, yay…



Anyway… so I dint get on the team… I’ll take DIFFERENT CLASSES and then get on a better team! With rockets! And uh… a soup buffet… and travel. Or I’ll be a receptionist forever…. God I better not be working as a phone slave when I’m 23… I cannot have two birthdays at that god forsaken fluorescent nightmare… I just need to follow my plan… move out… get  a better job… its all in the plan, no more fucking around. I’ve been spending too much money. I have enough stuff for awhile and should even get rid of some… what is with my fascination of stuff anyway… wtf is wrong with me. I form attachments to the smallest piece of garbage that might have a cool slogan on it or a pretty color or some fantastical sentimental attachment… more beating myself up… whtv… maybe I just appreciate the small things… like, small 


of garbage…


Damn, I am having crazy mood swings…. Maybe I’m going to get my period… fuck, whatever… the sooner it comes the sooner it goes. Its probably all out of wack cause all my friends are on the pill so my hormones gravitate to them… or some science-y bullshit of that manner.


Ok… life plan, here we go, in writing….. er typing… maybe I should physically write this… it would have more sentimental value… ha ha… small joke at my own expense. I just miss my own handwriting sometimes. I wonder if children in the future will even know what their handwriting will look like… will they bother to teach penmanship at all? Is cursive going extinct? Will notebooks, pencils and pens soon become like chiseling words into granite? Probably… haha, then I’ll read this and think of the good old crayon, paint, and mud days


I wonder if they’ll have mud in the future… I wish I could type without looking… I shoulda learned or forced myself… I think im stuck this way forever now… depressing weh weh weh weh.. I need to perk up and take a shower… the thing in this chair is starting to hurt my neck… like I should move or I’ll have to speak out of a tube… hmm not fun


Ha ha ha this song called typewriter tip tip tip tip just came on and it’s the noise im making… oh itunes, you know whats up


Sad. Mom isn’t going to be ok when I move out…. It sucks that sometimes you have to make others so unhappy to make yourself happy… where is the line between selfishness and selflessness? I haven’t found it yet… but im honing in on it


Ok, shower time, my stomach aches… its been like that for a few days… I hope im not getting sick… 


[10.19] Derde Verde / Spaceships / Jung Hollywood / LadyHeat

Summer Fun Time Society [SFTS] presents:a fuckinshow, with lotsa ladiesFRIDAY OCTOBER 19TH
9pm or whnv

5 Star Bar
267 S. Main St.
Los ANgeles

$5 / $2 with SFTS button!

9pm Jung Hollywood
10pm Spaceships
10:30 Derde Verde
11pm LadyHeat
11:30 TULIPS
12am Jung Hollywood

VIZ by SamPartal Inc.

SFTS Photobooth
running water!


[oh fuck yeAH]

“recoleta-cha-cha-cha” or “how many puns can viv make in one blog?”

So I dragged my corpse out of bed early one cold dead morning and hauled my bones to the Recoleta Cemetery. A grave feeling settled over me and dug right down to my skeleton. The death everywhere gave me a feeling of my own mortality and gripped my heart till it turned stone cold.

The extravagance scared the life out of me, it was like a cryptic plot to bury one’s feelings with stone, gold, flowers and boxes. It was quiet as a tomb ‘cept for the tourists laughing themselves to death over the various funny names they encountered. I thought their grim humor would soon decompose as I walked the ground, wishing my feet weren’t killing me. I almost died when the sight of (what I thought was) a living angel popped out of the ground through the crack in a tomb’s door, it had me sputtering and coffin‘ for sure. My life was rotting away in the heat and it was time to terminate my visit to the reaper’s playground. I followed the tourists to Evita’s grave, then said bye bye to the death museum.

24! BOOM… all time pun bog record?? Me thinks so.

In no way am I trying to make fun of the long passed, I just think puns are fun. Plus, Recoleta was ALL about not letting the dead be forgotten.. so why not remember them with some humor too?

Check out all the pictures here.

dust and dreams or how I breached national security

Wednesday was good. I woke up and headed to the city museum. A cute old museum with few but important things. Not historically, but they displayed the life that the citizens once had in a way that was new and exciting to me. I saw patterns, toys, pictures… very cool. But I’ll just show you all I saw that day. On the way I managed to get some snaps along the way. This city is one big museum, there’s no entrance or exit, you just have to be looking instead of just seeing.

And now, How Vivian Breached National Security. A short play in 3 Acts.

Act One.

So I was walking around Casa Rosada and I saw el Banco de la Nacion Argentina. The light reflecting on the tarnished copper of the front doors was very inviting, so I walked up the steps to take some pictures and look at my map. I tried to go inside but there was a sign saying something about it being closed for security reasons and to use the door on a different street. So I walked around to find the other entrance.

Act. Two.

I found the other door.

Act Three.

So I go inside, walking by a security guard with my camera out (my camera is gigantic…) and find myself in a very old long hallway with people bustling about. There were business men smoking and walking around harumphing about this and that and people exchanging money. But I was more interested in how to get to the large domed area I had seen through the front door. I found a beautiful staircase and went down. Nothing down there but a weird old trophy case so I went back up then up one more while stopping to take pictures.


Beautiful staircase right? It reminded me of a vanilla cone at McDonald’s. Finally, success! I take the last step up the ice cream steps and find myself in the large domed area I saw before. There were more security guards up here and I saw no photography signs, so I clicked off my camera and slung it over my shoulder. I walked through the giant room and found a small gallery of art by the entrance. I love that this city squeezes art into every open space available. The artist’s name is Edgardo Manry and I can’t really seem to find him anywhere online. His bright art spoke using themes of floklore, and the mystic creation of life. They were very happy, beautiful pieces and each one made me smile. here’s what it said in the program, “Manry selecciona elementos tomados de la naturaleza y los elabora con el propósito de crear una fantasía casí de cuentos de hadas. Manry selects items from nature and produces with the aim of creating a fantasy about fairy tales.” It sounds so beautiful en Español. As I walked by the last photo two security guards who were sitting and chatting finally decided to notice me and yelled, “A donde sos?” I didn’t quite understand so I said, “California, los Estados Unidos.” They looked at each other and laughed then he asked me, “No, where did you come in here? How are you here? The bank closes at 3pm and no tourists allowed.” I apologized and told them how I came inside and showed them that my camera was off, “I haven’t taken any pictures in here,” I pointed to the big dome so I wasn’t totally lying ’cause the staircase wasn’t a part of the larger room. One was wearing a security uniform with bright gold buttons, the other had on a faded grey janitor kind of outfit with large abuelo glasses. The walkie talkie squaked on the belt of the younger one and he said something very fast (most likely, “Sin ella es sólo un turista tonto, no hay problemas aquí. Ella no es un terroristay no ha violado ninguna forma de seguridad nacional … pero mantener un ojoen ella. No she is just some dumb tourist, no problems here. She is not a terrorist and has not breached any form of nation security… but keep an eye on her.”) and then began to walk me out of the room, “You cannot be here. I don know how you get in but go now and no photo. The cameras everywhere see you.” He pointed up and around at the ceiling. For a split second I wondered whether I should tell him about the staircase photos I took but then he said, “Take this door, go down las escaleras. Stairs, entiendes?” I nodded and walked quickly back the way I had come in.

Haha, whoops.

Here is the full set of photos.